ME...MY LIFE...MY HEALTH...MY HEART...MY INTENTION...MY HOPE. (5/9/2006)
It seems that I am constantly battling my health. For the one moment of comfort that I have, there are 20 moments of pain and discomfort that follow. I keep asking, hoping and wishing for a time that I will be - "MYSELF" again. I desire and LONG for something that I can recall in my mind as free. Free of pain, free of worry, free of guilt, free of dissatisfaction, free of my current bonds.
The funny thing is, I know...this IS me! I AM myself! I am HERE! This is NOW! But I still can't let go of the other.
I have done yoga before. But this time, I started the practice knowning that I needed to leave all my previous skill and knowledge behind. I knew that I was different now. I have a different body-vessel than the last time I practiced, not to mention I have grown in my life experience.
Yet, despite that realization, I find that I feel defeated in the things that I can't do. I feel anguish when my physical body does not respond as I wish it would. I am unable to let go and accept what I am feeling in this moment. I am attached to a feeling that I can't quite recall. How do I let go of that? How do I accept the inadequacies and failures and yet still find growth?
I know what I am supposed to feel, but can't help but feel a sense of loss. I feel empty. I feel sad.
I am in search of the personal power to thankfully and lovingly acknowledge and accept where I am. I am search of the personal power to continue on and to grow.
I ask for love and light, and wish the same to all.
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